“The Devil Glitch” by Chris Butler which clocks in at 12:44 (and/or 68:53 and/or 114:53).

Having featured somewhere around 150 long songs thus far in EAR FARM’s 8+, it can often feel as though there’s no new ground left to cover. Just this year alone we’ve had recipes, Olympic recommendations, a series of short stories, and enough palindrome love to drive even the nerdiest nerd nutso. Conclusion: there are no new ideas nor are there any more songs left to write about! Perhaps this feature is all old and busted and needs to be fixed?

It’s not true. However, even considering this notion for a moment reminded me of a certain long song that’s about nothing other than suggested ways to fix things. It is, in fact, the longest pop song ever according to the Guinness Book of World Records. The song, “The Devil Glitch”, began as a mere five-minute song before verse after verse after verse was continuously added over a three month period and it ended up as a 69 minute pop song that barely fit onto a single CD. On the CD, the song is divided into 17 tracks that all run into each other and play as a single continuous song - only one of these segments ends up clocking in at over eight minutes and stands fairly well on its own, and that’s Track 2. Interestingly, this track exists as a microcosm of the full song and can give quite a solid representation of the entire 69 minutes. Basically, if you’d like a taste of the longest song ever recorded but don’t have an hour-plus to spare, check out the version of the song posted above. I’m going to, but not because I’ve never heard “The Devil Glitch before. Rather, I’m simply searching for ways to fix something… as the song goes:

Sometimes you can fix something…
by just being a prick
by just lifting your skirt
by just kissing some ass
by just smoking a pipe
by just blaming your mom
by just cracking a joke
by just cooking the books
by just smoking a joint
by just building a ramp
by just sitting around
by just blowing it up
by just takin’ it slow
by just hurrying up
by just looking away
with just a mistake
by just doing it right
with total control
by just playing along
by working like hell
by not working too hard
by just having faith
by just saying a prayer
by just trusting your luck
by just being a cheat
by just being tough
by just being scared
by just taking a class
by just building a wall
by just tightening your belt
by just busting loose
by just shutting up
by just coming in last
by just holding out
by just being a fool
by just knowing the law
by just screening your calls
by just washing your hands
by just wearing a mask
by just going to hell
by just telling all
by just saying “no”
by just saying “yes”
with just the right spin
by just changing your mind
by just building a fort
by just changing sides
by just getting laid
by just jacking off
by just getting drunk
by just having one drink
by just taking the heat
by just passing the buck
by just turning around
by just trying to cope
by just starting to cry
by running from your past
by just turning a knob
by just toning it down
by just giving a gift
by just taking it back
by just playing dumb
by just being sharp
by just going to church
by not going to church
by just being against being against the establishment of the church
by just suing the son of a bitch
by just going home
by hot-wiring the fuse
with just a better glue
by just paying ‘em off
by not being home
by just having the stones
by just listening to The Who
by just playing pinball
by just speaking your mind
by just biting your tongue
by just writing a book
by just reading a book
turn off that goddamn television
by just having a snack

And that’s where Track 2 ends. But again, that’s just a small taste of a larger beast. The entire song features over 500 verses of ways to fix something. But wait! There’s more… sometimes you can fix something by extending what was already the longest song in the world into something even MORE gloriously long! Sometimes, in fact, you can fix something by just getting your audience involved. Would you like to write a verse to be featured in the ever-changing “longest song ever”? Well you’re in luck. Chris Butler is still adding to “The Devil Glitch” and he’s taking submissions; so, get your long song lyrical poetry cap on and submit some words of your own and Butler will record them and you’ll be a world record holder by association. Currently, the song is clocking in at over 114 mintues… The fog’s getting thicker; and “The Devil Glitch” is getting larrrrrger!

Buy The Devil Glitch HERE.

EAR FARM’s 8+ is a weekly feature that showcases songs longer than 8 minutes. Click HERE to see the songs recently featured in EF’s 8+.