Of the many enjoyable ancillary activities during CMJ, can anything even touch the time-honored pleasure of people watching?

Uh, yeah, we think so, and we’ve got the transcripts to prove it. You see, people not only look funny, but they say funny things. And whether that entails laughing with them, or, in other cases, laughing AT them, overhearing conversational snippets, impromptu onstage rants, and drunken ramblings has kind of become its own worthwhile pursuit for us during CMJ.

To commemorate an especially vibrant week of pull quotes, we’ve assembled a list of our favorites (in no particular order) but decided to give it a bit of a twist. Below, you’ll find things we overheard last week; 11 of them are absolutely, legitimately true, but four are definitely, patently fabricated. Can you guess which ones we heard and which are just figments of our sleep-deprived minds? The answer key is at the bottom….

1.
“Dude feel my heartbeat, shit.”
(“dude” feels it) “Whaah?”
“Sparks!”
“Sparks!!”

2.
“The one over there with the glasses? I saw their show at Le Royale and now I’m obsessed so I’m just following them around everywhere.”

3.
(context: In the midst of a dreadfully boring CMJ panel, one clueless idiot waddles up to the panel and sits down among them mid-discussion with laptop in hand).

Panel Moderator: “Excuse me, but are you a panel member?”
Idiot: “No, but I got some hot beats you all need to hear. Let me introduce myself and tell my story…”
PM: “Can you please wait until after the panel is done?”
Idiot: “Oh…(pause). Aiyt then.”

4.
“Did you see that band just now? Drink Buttermilk or something? Butterstuff? Dude, they were amazing!”

5.
“Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good singer and talented and stuff, but this is the kind of shit I’d rather listen to when I’m at home getting fucked up.”

6.
“Do you think Lykke Li would sleep with me?”
“No.”
“Well she did.”

7.
“It’s like he saw the opening band and had to one-up the skinniness of their jeans….”

8.
“Wait, what the eff’s her name? Dodgeball Dorothy? Softball Sue?”
“Kickball Katy?”
“Something gym class-themed, yeah”

8.
“Oh my god you dont know where it is? It’s right off of (pause) Hyooston St….Hyoostuhn…Howstun.”

9.
“Twenty minutes? I got forty minutes to rock man! A one and twothreefour!”

10.
“So I think I’m going to take the plunge, get an iPod.”
“Great! Wait, an iTouch or an iPod?”
“Oh i dont know, what’s the difference?”
“Well what about an iPhone?”
(pause) “Oh god no, oh no, I’m anti iPhone.”

11.
“Drank so much I passed out on my bathroom floor last night.”

12.
“They forgot their snare - so I had to go into Cake Shop, packed, in the middle of Marnie Stern’s set and take the drum from the stage and then I was OUT of there.”

13.
“Brooklyn Vegan’s secret guest is Shearwater? I expected more. I don’t know why, but I did.”

14.
“I hear Chairlift has to play so many shows as part of their iPod contract.”

15.
“What does she think this is?? Radio City?! Good grief!”

Answer Key: 1, 6,8, and 14 are all fake

front image found HERE; above image found HERE