A story on the AP newswire early last week detailed the rash of road sign thefts along the New Jersey Turnpike and Garden State Parkway, which alone probably wouldn’t be worth noting except for the fact that all of the thefts have involved the metal signs at mile marker 66.6.

What does this mean? Most likely, it’s just some metalhead in New Jersey eager to outfit his bedroom with a series of “666″ road signs. NJ Turnpike Authority spokesman Joe Orlando, however, seems to imagine a darker figure behind the swipings, saying, “Given the symbolism of the number and the fact that it is obviously done in the middle of night, and in the middle of nowhere, I can safely say that I’m not eager to meet the rocket scientists doing it.”

Who else thinks Orlando needs to grow a pair? Besides, as Pinback’s Rob Crow pointed out during their show at Music Hall of Williamsburg a few weeks back, 666 isn’t even the technical sign of the beast. After some research (cough cough Wikipedia), it seems Crow is right. In 2005, scholars at Oxford University used advanced imaging techniques to parse through the earliest known version of the Book of Revelation and found the Number of the Beast identified as 616 and not 666. The news must have sent the wheels turning in Crow’s metal-loving mind, for he even wrote a song about it, “Off By 50″, that closes out their latest album Autumn of the Seraphs. Here are the lyrics:

Separate the wall. When the earth is mined.
The water and the seas have all been wiped.
To pave the way. Forced. Primed.
To kick the very seeds from their heights.

If i believed I would believe that you’re the one they talk about.
If I believed I would believe that you’re the one they call upon.

Mindless. Hateful. There’s no such thing as a free lunch.
No such thing at all.

(Is there no end / Are we all in / I must let go…
Why would they go through this again / Is there no other way)

So, with this new info, our advice to the 666 thiefs: you’re off by 50! You’ve got the wrong sign! And our advice to Orlando and the Turnpike Crew: consider looking to see if any of the 616 signs have gone missing. I think Pinback just passed through town after all.

Listen: “Off By 50″ by Pinback

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